Family Trip to Destin (FB Post)
We had a family trip to Destin planned for this week. After we lost Levi, after the world stopped spinning, we decided to still come.
There are 2 reasons why we came; their names are Lily and Reese. In the earliest hours of Monday morning, after the tragedy, my husband and I were standing in the ICU waiting room of the Mobile Children’s Hospital. My hair was still in a wet ponytail from jumping in the water. We knew we had lost Levi. My husband told me: “We are STILL a family.”
We have two girls. They need us. Losing Levi will forever be the defining part of our lives. But, we can’t let them lose us, too. He set the tone from that moment. We are broken, and I am physically aching to have Levi back. But, we are choosing to live purposefully for the girls in the midst of this great tragedy.
Going to the beach this week seemed IMPOSSIBLE. But, here is what also seems impossible: every second of the rest of my life. I asked Amanda: “Do you really want to go to the beach with your sister-in-law who just lost her son?” The question was barely out before she said, emphatically: “Yes.”
We are here.
We are here.
All of us, at every moment, are thinking: Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi. But, we are here, being a family.
I am not even that nervous when they are swimming because DROWNING HAPPENS WHEN NOT SWIMMING. We are at the ocean, the pool, living, despite our grief. Choosing family.
I WANT him here to eat more push pops, to catch fish with all of his boy cousins and uncles, to sleep in Bop Noni’s room. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi.
I keep counting my kids and cannot imagine when I will ever stop automatically accounting for all 3 of them. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi. Everywhere I look, there is a little boy, many in the same blue puddle jumper that Levi wore. The parents are hovering over their toddlers and little kids, and I want to scream: “THIS IS NOT WHEN DROWNING HAPPENS!” It happens when you are not swimming, when you are upstairs, and your 3 year old slips away for mere minutes, seconds. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi.
I keep counting my kids and cannot imagine when I will ever stop automatically accounting for all 3 of them. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi. Everywhere I look, there is a little boy, many in the same blue puddle jumper that Levi wore. The parents are hovering over their toddlers and little kids, and I want to scream: “THIS IS NOT WHEN DROWNING HAPPENS!” It happens when you are not swimming, when you are upstairs, and your 3 year old slips away for mere minutes, seconds. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi.
My family is here, playing with the girls, digging holes, and buckling life jackets. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi. We are 9 days into the rest of my life, and I have barely scratched the surface of my grief. But, if grieving is second by second, then I am grateful for at least a few seconds today where I chose to live a full life for the girls, for these sisters he adored so much. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi.
Tonight, we went crab hunting. Without Levi. Having this documentation of life going on without him is crushing. He would have been thrilled watching the white crabs scurry across the sand. He would not have believed his luck when one of his older cousins caught one. They would have let him carry the bucket, and he would have been so proud. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi. But, tonight was beautiful, too: Reese wanted so desperately to catch a crab, and my precious, oldest nephew was determined it would happen. It wasn’t until after I took this video that I realized he purposely let one out of the bucket just so she could catch it. Beauty in the midst of tragedy. We are laughing in this video, we are all truly invested in Reese catching this crab. But, the entire time, every second, I am (WE are) thinking: Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi.
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ReplyDeleteMy husband left me for another woman three months ago and ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love whom i have spent my entire life with. A friend of mine told me he saw some testimonies of a spell caster called Dr.Padman that he can bring back lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, she consulted the great priest (padmanlovespell@yahoo.com) on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after 11hours later my husband called me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for every thing he made me went through.He came back to me and now we are happy together. I still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable. Thank you Dr.Padman for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for any one who might need the help of this great Dr here is the email address:(padmanlovespell@yahoo.com)
Si j écris ce témoignage c est juste pour vous montrer le vrai chemin qui peut vous conduire à un meilleur résultat lorsque vous êtes réellement en souffrance ou en difficulté et que vous avez besoin d un vrai marabout sérieux capable de vous aider.Je me nomme Patricia Masson, d origine française.Au fait en janvier passé j ai fait mes aveux amoureux à un jeune homme de ma promotion qui m a laissé croire qu il ressentait la même chose pour moi, par la suite ce jeune homme est encore tombé amoureux de ma meilleure amie d enfance. Malgré que je les soupçonnais je n avais pas eu de réaction vis à vis d eux de peur qu il me quitte de façon définitive parce que je l aimais. Mais il y a de cela deux mois il m a écris pour me dire que c était fini entre nous et qu il fallait que je me trouve un autre homme puisque lui il était déjà avec quelqu un d autre. J ai pleuré toute les larmes de mon corps face à cette impuissance d agir pour retrouver celui que mon coeur désirait. C est après une semaine que de part mes recherches je suis tombé sur le site du grand Médium AMANGNON et j ai pris le temps de tout lire. J ai prie contact avec ce dernier et après lui avoir tout expliqué, il m a proposé un rituel de 7 jours pour retrouver à nouveau l homme de ma vie. Au début je ne prenais pas d importance à ce qu il me disait mais je faisais quand même tout ce qu il me demandait de faire jusqu au 5ème jour quand c est mon homme qui m a appelé à 9 heures du soir pour me demander à ce qu on se voit. J étais sans voix quand il est venu me supplier pour reprendre de bon avec moi. J ai suivi strictement les instructions de mon médium et aujoud hui laissez moi vous dire que pour rien au monde je n échangerai mon bonheur avec mon homme.Grâce a cet puissant médium jai repris confiance en moi et mon homme est à tous mes soins. Vous qui êtes dans de pareille situation, allez vivre cette expérience en le contactant par E-mail: contact.maitreamangnon@yahoo.com whatsApp: +22997788791
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Si j écris ce témoignage c est juste pour vous montrer le vrai chemin qui peut vous conduire à un meilleur résultat lorsque vous êtes réellement en souffrance ou en difficulté et que vous avez besoin d un vrai marabout sérieux capable de vous aider.Je me nomme Patricia Masson, d origine française.Au fait en janvier passé j ai fait mes aveux amoureux à un jeune homme de ma promotion qui m a laissé croire qu il ressentait la même chose pour moi, par la suite ce jeune homme est encore tombé amoureux de ma meilleure amie d enfance. Malgré que je les soupçonnais je n avais pas eu de réaction vis à vis d eux de peur qu il me quitte de façon définitive parce que je l aimais. Mais il y a de cela deux mois il m a écris pour me dire que c était fini entre nous et qu il fallait que je me trouve un autre homme puisque lui il était déjà avec quelqu un d autre. J ai pleuré toute les larmes de mon corps face à cette impuissance d agir pour retrouver celui que mon coeur désirait. C est après une semaine que de part mes recherches je suis tombé sur le site du grand Médium AMANGNON et j ai pris le temps de tout lire. J ai prie contact avec ce dernier et après lui avoir tout expliqué, il m a proposé un rituel de 7 jours pour retrouver à nouveau l homme de ma vie. Au début je ne prenais pas d importance à ce qu il me disait mais je faisais quand même tout ce qu il me demandait de faire jusqu au 5ème jour quand c est mon homme qui m a appelé à 9 heures du soir pour me demander à ce qu on se voit. J étais sans voix quand il est venu me supplier pour reprendre de bon avec moi. J ai suivi strictement les instructions de mon médium et aujoud hui laissez moi vous dire que pour rien au monde je n échangerai mon bonheur avec mon homme.Grâce a cet puissant médium jai repris confiance en moi et mon homme est à tous mes soins. Vous qui êtes dans de pareille situation, allez vivre cette expérience en le contactant par E-mail: contact.maitreamangnon@yahoo.com whatsApp: +22997788791
ReplyDeletehttp://retouraffectif-maitreamangnon.over-blog.com/
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hindi ako makapaniwala na kailanman ay muling makiisa ako sa aking kasintahan, labis akong na-trauma sa pananatiling nag-iisa na walang katawan na manatili sa akin at makakasama ko, ngunit napakasuwerte ako sa isang tiyak na araw upang matugunan ito malakas na spell caster na si Dr Akhere, matapos sabihin sa kanya ang tungkol sa aking sitwasyon ginawa niya ang lahat ng makataong posible upang makita na ang aking kasintahan ay bumalik sa akin, sa katunayan matapos na ihagis ang spell ang aking dating kasintahan ay bumalik sa akin ng mas mababa sa 48 oras, dumating ang dating kasintahan ko. bumalik sa pagmamakaawa sa akin na hindi na niya ako pababayaan, 3 buwan mamaya kami ay nakipag-ugnay at nag-asawa, kung nagkakaroon ka ng parehong sitwasyong ito makipag-ugnay lamang kay Dr Akhere sa kanyang email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com maraming salamat sa sir sa pagpapanumbalik ng aking dating kasintahan bumalik sa akin, ang kanyang email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com o tumawag / whatsapp: +2349057261346
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